Time passes so quickly

Some days I just can't believe how quickly time is going by, how quickly my little babe is changing and growing. I so look forward to every up coming milestone, but at the same time I want to remember every little thing she is doing today before each thing fades into the next stage. Sometimes I just want to slow the world down and savor each moment. My sister always says, "Write things down. You think you'll remember forever, but you just can't". So here are some of the things I want to remember for today so I can tell Little Miss someday:

1. The sweet and loving way you say "Mama" when first seeing me after being apart or when crawling into my arms.

2. The smell and warmth of you in my arms when reading a book, having a bottle, or when just wanting to be held.

3. The look of sheer delight on your face when you peek around the doorway and find me waiting to say peek-a-boo to you for the 18th time!

4. The wide-eyed look of interest on your face as you nod with enthusiasm when I ask you if you want to go outside, or to the park, or to listen to some Raffi music.

5. The way you walk up to me and wrap your arms around my legs bear hug style while I'm doing the dishes or other household chores.

6. The way you take whatever bit of language you understand and apply what you know to it (like when I asked you at dinner if you wanted some chicken and you emphatically nodded yes and said, "bok, bok", or when someone mentions a dog and you point to the neighbor's house and say, "woo woo", or when I was telling auntie that I had to park the car and you said with high pitched enthusiasm, "PARK?").

7. How cute you look when you sit on the floor pouring over a book with that serious expression on your face as you "read".

8. The times when we are riding in the car listening to music and I hear you quietly say a word or two from the song not because I told you to, but just because you are listening and enjoying.

And here are some photos to help me remember all these things I love about my Little Miss . . .

giving Mama her 1st Mother's day gift

enjoying her big cousin and entire family in the park on Mother's day

more time at the park - she just can't get enough

learning to run

goofin' around with Mommy

A month of firsts

Well, April came "in like a lion" with Little Miss's first trip to the ER on the first of the month. Fortunately, things improved from there and the remainder of the "firsts" were good things.

April 9th was our first referral day anniversary - what a blessed and treasured day!

Little Miss had her first egg decorating experience - she generally just held and attempted to squish each of the eggs, but she was happy doing it.

She enjoyed her first Easter basket - a small little basket. The Bunny and I had a talk about keeping it baby-sized.

She also enjoyed her first Easter Egg "hunt" later that day. It was really more of an Egg gathering than hunt, but cute as can be of course.

This month Little Miss said her first 2 word sentence! The first sentence was cute and occurred as she watched our kitty go upstairs. She said, "meow-meow bup" - translation "the kitty went up". The second 2 word sentence tugged at my heart strings. She told my sister (who was taking care of her), "Mama bye-bye" - translation, "Mommy went to work".

And finally, with the arrival of some long awaited beautiful weather, Little Miss enjoyed her first picnic, first trip to the zoo, and first kiddie train ride. We headed off to this great museum/zoo/park with Auntie for a day of fun. Here are a few pics from the day.

The first time ever I saw your face . . .

April 9, 2008 - one year ago today - I received the referral of my sweet 26 day old baby girl! I can't believe this day, that is etched into my heart and brain so indelibly, happened 1 year ago. I remember it like it was yesterday - every detail, but so much has happened since then that it feels like decades ago. That day, I was offered the most wonderful opportunity - the chance to be a mother to this amazing girl and to raise her as my daughter. I was beyond thrilled. It was the happiest I had ever felt!

I had worked a typical, long day at the hospital and was heading to my car. I turned my phone on (it's off all day at the hospital) and there was a message. When I heard the area code for the message, my heart rate increased. I heard Grace, the agency rep, say nothing but "give me a call" with just a hint of mischief in her voice and my heart began to race. I was shaking as I dialed Grace's number and could barely breath. Could this be it? Could this be the moment I've been thinking about for years? The phone rang, rang, rang, then went into her voicemail. Are you kidding me? What am I to do now? All I could do was leave a message saying I'm available now, please call me. I hung up and was frozen. What now? Do I just drive home as if it were any other day? As if I didn't suspect I was about to get the biggest news of my life? What if I'm on the highway and Grace calls with critical news? What if I sit here and wait and Grace doesn't call back for hours or until tomorrow? Should I call my sisters? My mom? And say what? I don't know anything at all yet and maybe won't. After what felt like an eternity, really about 10 minutes, I decided to be rational and to simply drive home normally. Whew! As I started the car, the phone rang. A quick glance at the screen and I knew it was Grace. OMG! I was shaking like a leaf as I answered the phone. Grace had a smile and near chuckle in her voice as I answered hesitantly. "Do you want to see a picture of a baby girl?", she asked me. In that moment, I was assaulted with a flood of emotions - excitement, anticipation, desire, love, sheer joy! I said yes, of course, and asked her to tell me everything she could. She gave me some info and said she was emailing her picture and profile as we spoke. I could barely take in all that she was saying as my heart was leaping for joy and I was shaking and crying. I thanked Grace through tears and laughter which she shared with me as we hung up. I then had to run (and I do mean run) back into the building to find a computer and get that email. Tears of joy were simply pouring down my face. Every stressful moment, every challenge, every bump in the road, every difficult minute, hour, day, year of waiting was erased in that instant. God had the perfect baby girl for me and I was about to become her mother.

I must have looked like a raving lunatic, running into the hospital with a grin from ear to ear and tears streaming down my face. I found a quiet computer area, jumped into my email, took a deep breath, and there she was!! It was truly love at first site! All of my prayers were answered in that moment. I knew she was mine. I printed her profile and picture on ordinary paper so I could have them in the car with me as I drove home. I conference called my sisters to announce the news to them, and drove directly to my mom' s so she could "meet" her newest granddaughter. What a crazy couple of hours.

As I settled down for the night, I could not take my eyes off of that picture, studying every detail. I was overcome with excitement and joy. I got into bed, with my laptop opened with her picture taking up the whole screen. I eventually drifted off to sleep while staring at that picture and dreaming about our future together. I will never forget that day, the emotions, the chaos, and the utter joy. Aside from the day I held my Little Miss for the first time, referral day was the biggest day in my adoption journey.

Today, I remember April 9, 2008 with such joy and gratitude. The love I have for this girl was so strong instantly, and yet somehow, miraculously, it continues to grow stronger and stronger everyday. Tonight, with an overflowing heart, I kissed my girl good-night and took this picture. Just like the first time ever I saw your face, your sweet, beautiful face . . . ahhh!!!

New Duds, New Do, and a Big Boo-boo

New Duds . . .

I came across a fantastic coat sale, bought my girl 5 new coats! Now 5 might seem like a lot of coats to have (let alone buy in one shopping trip), but New England has very variable weather and a girl must be prepared. And some are for next year so it's not that bad - not that I'm trying to justify my actions or anything! The pics don't do the coats (or Little Miss) justice, but they are dreamy.

New Do . . .

Just fooling around with Little Missy's hair one day. It's slowly getting long enough to try new styles. She looks like a totally different person to me with all these ponies!

And the dreaded "Big Boo-boo" . . .

Well, Little Miss had her first visit to the ER - ugh! Second degree burns on her hand after grabbing a hot radiator pipe. She will be fine, thank God, but it was traumatic for both of us. She has been such a trooper and is not letting it stop her at all. There is a tiny bit of fussing when I change the dressing and that's it. She never complains and is using that hand (in it's bandaged state) to play, clap, crawl, climb, you name it. I'm amazed and relieved to see her acting so completely normal. Here are a few (non-gory) pics.

Finally asleep after a long day of injury and medical intervention

"What boo-boo?"

Happy Birthday Baby Girl!!!

So, having a birthday party has it's ups and downs. Here you see the ups - party hats, laughter, balloons and overall good cheer.

Here you see the downs - very loud singing by the entire family that scared me silly!

I can't believe my Little Miss has turned one! Where does time go? Despite the above picture, Little Miss had a wonderful day. She was not happy with the birthday song, and really didn't care for her cake either, but she loved the balloons, the wonderful gifts, and spending time with her family. Still, I'm pretty sure I enjoyed the whole event more than she did. I had so much fun making her butterfly cake, decorating, and just watching her experience her first birthday in our big family. What a pleasure!

What an emotional day! I am overflowing with love for my little princess and want to savor every memory from this day. I am so blessed to be the mother of this wonderfully, amazing girl! Tonight as I thank God for the gift of this girl in my life, I will also pray for a woman who one year ago, half way around the world, gave birth to my precious daughter making my dreams come true!

Happy Birthday Baby Girl - I love you!

A breath of warm air at last!

Today was the first trip to the park for Little Miss! She was just a little baby when we came home last summer and we've been waiting all winter to get out to the park. With 50 something degrees today, I knew this was our chance. So we took a walk with Auntie to the playground. It took Little Miss a few minutes to trust the swing and slide, but she got the hang of it. Then there was no turning back, and no going home - ha!

She looked so tiny in this "little" baby swing.

And this was the weather just a few short days ago . . .

Pizza is my new favorite food . . . ice cream isn't!

Little Miss crawled over to the oven, pulled herself up, peered into the window, identified that frozen blob as pizza, then turned to me and signed "eat"! This girl is crazy over her pizza.

Ice cream, not so much. Too cold!!